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Generation rent: why I’ll never live in a soundproofed two-bed

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This flat comes complete with an electronic gate to thwart party crashers channelling their inner frat boy

Until recently, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you much about my neighbours. In the block of flats I last lived in, any nuggets of information I had were pieced together from chance glimpses, or soundbites travelling through floorboards, walls, and windows kept open in the August heat.

I knew the flat downstairs were expecting a baby when I signed for their cot delivery, and judging by the explosive creaking that came through my ceiling at night, I figured the resident in the room above was either a fitful sleeper, an elephant, or a hostage trapped in a bag.

Related: All the places I'll never live: a castle

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