To read newspaper headlines, you’d think that millennials had invented the avocado. Apparently this expensive fruit (usually “smashed” on toast, with a variety of garnishes) is all we eat – if we even eat it at all, rather than just ordering it and snapping it for our Instagram feeds, before chucking it on top of the ever-increasing food waste mountain, for which we are also to blame. The fetishisation of the avocado has now reached such an apex that avocado-specific bars are opening in London and New York, which also, coincidentally, happen to be the spiritual homes of the worst of all millennials – those of us with the audacity to live in expensive cities despite not being rich.
Avocado-related injuries are on the rise. There are reports of a global avocado shortage. Soon, a manbun-sporting tech startup intern named Lennon will report that, while drinking a negroni in Shoreditch House and discussing LCD Soundsystem’s new song, he became the first human in the western world to turn green.
Brunch has become a convenient scapegoat for structural inequality
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Related: Millionaire tells millennials: if you want a house, stop buying avocado toast
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